


Too Dangerous for Humans

by alienevan



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22648741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienevan/pseuds/alienevan
Summary: Some silly little TenDonna ficlets based on Tumblr prompts.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor & Donna Noble, Tenth Doctor/Donna Noble, The Doctor/Donna Noble
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32





	1. “Is that my shirt you’re wearing?”

“Uhhhh not now…” She mumbled sleepily. “Not yet…”

She rolled to her side and pulled the pillow over her head, trying to mask out the ruffle and rattle coming from somewhere nearby.

It didn’t help, at all. She laid there, the irritation growing inside her until –

She jolted up on the bed. “Okay, what on earth are you –-”

She stopped when she saw what looked like the entire contents of her wardrobe spread out all over her floor and The Doctor standing in the middle of it all, pulling one of Donna’s bright red shirts on. He turned around and grinned.

“Good morning!”

“Is that my shirt you’re wearing?”

“I’m assuming that's a rhetorical question.”

He glanced in the mirror, nodded and turned around to leave the room. “Okay, bye, gotta go, see you later!”

“DOCTOR!”

But he just smirked and rushed out.

She considered running after him, but decided against it and instead collapsed back on the bed, sighing grumpily.

No more sleeping for her this morning.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later she was in the kitchen, just about the take the first sip of her morning tea when she heard the opening of the TARDIS door, a brief, extremely loud roar and then a quick bang when the door was thrown closed again.

Soon, The Doctor rushed past her, panting. Donna opened her mouth, but before she had time to say anything, he said “Sorry, in a tad bit of a hurry” and disappeared into the hallway.

She rolled her eyes. It was too early for this anyway, so she settled for sitting down and spreading some butter on her toast.

Yet again, there was a loud bang, an “Ouch!” and soon The Doctor appeared to the kitchen door frame.

“You don’t have red pants, do you?”

“Nope.” She took a bite of her toast. “I guess it’s pointless to ask you what you need them for?”

“This is urgent, Donna. Don’t you have anything else red?”

She raised her eyebrow. “I have a red dress. And tights.”

“PERFECT!” And he rushed back only to turn around and reappear in the door.

“Where are they?”

“I’m sure at this point you know better, seeing as you’ve taken to rearrange my entire wardrobe.”

“Right.”

And he rushed away.

She had just finished her breakfast and was about to start loading the dishes in when he rushed past her wearing the dress, stopping at the other door.

“How do I look?”

She took a look at him. It was a simple red dress with a ribbon in the waist and it looked absolutely ridiculous combined with the bright red tights.

“Get some filling in that bony alien body of yours and it will look absolutely dashing.”

He squinted his eyes at her and then rushed away again.

* * *

When she was in her room, starting to unbutton her pajamas to get dressed, he ran in once more, quite out of breath this time.

“Oi! Watch out!” She yelped, hastily rebuttoning the pajama shirt.

“Shoes. “ He panted. “I need shoes.”

“Only if you tell me what’s going on!”

“You know how there’s this species of bees in Australia that try to pollinate beer bottles?”

She stared at him for a long while. “No, I absolutely don’t.”

“Well, the point of it is really, that in their entire evolution there has never been anything remotely the same color as this flower that they pollinate, the same species of flower they have pollinated for a million years Donna. And then, suddenly, a new species came up, these wonderful creatures called Homo Deus, and they evolved and made this brand of beer, and went out on a picnic and tossed the beer bottle somewhere on the grass, and this beer bottle happened to be the exact same color as this flower. So what did the bees do?”

“They made love to the beer bottles?”

“They made love to the beer bottles.”

“And this has to do with you wearing my dress because…?”

“Because we are on a planet in a far away Galaxy on the edges of the Universe and it has never in its history been visited by aliens before and they are a humanoid species that happen to have bright red skin in the places of the body where we wear clothes. And shoes, apparently. I forgot shoes!”

“And you are seriously thinking you wearing red will make you the perfect undercover agent and they will have no idea that it’s a flippin’ alien?”

“Yep.”

“You are insane.”

“Yep.”

“But how can you know?”

“Because I’ve tested it with you and other humans several times.”

“You have not!!!”

He smirked. “There have been so many aliens who you just read as humans because in your evolution you haven’t acquired the skills to separate all alien species. In this chaotic rush of stimuli that’s called reality your brain only picks up the things it has learned to understand in order to survive.”

“That is absolutely terrifying.”

“Yep. Now, shoes!”

“My only red shoes are stilettos.”

“That’ll do.”

“Your feet must be like three sizes bigger than mine!”

Except they weren’t. She got out the stilettos and somehow they fit to his feet.

“Can you walk in these?”

“Absolutely!” He took a step and almost fell over and she had to catch him, laughing.

“How about I just do this thing you’re doing?”

“Nope, too dangerous. The atmosphere is extremely toxic for humans.”

She sighed. “What is it you’re doing?”

“Oh the usual, saving them from alien invaders.”

“But you said they’ve never seen an alien species in their life!”

“Exactly! Let’s keep it that way!”

He flashed a huge grin, turned around, and once again hurried out of the room.

“Doctor, wait!”

He stopped and turned around at the door frame. “Yes?”

“You look very pretty.”

He smirked, blew a kiss to her direction, and runned out to save yet another planet from malicious aliens.


	2. “And why exactly is ‘How to flirt with aliens’ in your search history?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another short lil cute prompt quickie.

“Doctor, please stop.”

“I’m just… Just… “ He grunts from the floor, crawling deeper under the table. “Just let me fix this… I, uhh, I… got it.”

She sighs. “Just please… don’t break anything. Mother will kill you.”

“Of course not…” He crawls further and rolls on his side and sonics the computer. “Oh yeah! I got it, there’s something…” He puts the screwdriver in his mouth and connects some cords. Donna stands nearby, not quite having enough trust to leave him to it. His position looks extremely uncomfortable… but when’s that ever bothered him?

There’s a tiny explosion and the screen starts blinking with pink light.

“Doctor!!!” She yelps. She shouldn’t have invited him in for tea. She shouldn’t have told him the computer broke. She should’ve just walked out of the door, straight into the TARDIS when she heard him come.

He backs up from under the table and rushes up from the floor. “No, I fixed it, see!”

The flashing light on the monitor turns to bright yellow and cackles loudly.

Donna raises an irritated eyebrow to him.

He grimaces, then smacks the monitor hard. The light goes crazy for a few seconds but then resets back to normal and the desktop image emerges. He grins victoriously.

“See!”

“Right.” She glares at it suspiciously for awhile and then starts throwing some of her clothes into the awaiting suitcase.

He jumps to sit on the chair, rolls around in it a few times, and then starts clicking away on the computer. “Human computers. So adorable. Mouse, keyboard, satellite based internet and all! Precious! What smart little people you are!”

“Do you have to make it sound so patronizing?”

He grunts in response, concentrated on the monitor, brows furrowing.

Donna’s been home for almost two weeks, the Doctor having forced her out when he had some ‘absolutely too dangerous for humans’ things to do, and frankly, she’s desperate to get away again. She throws the last socks into the suitcase and closes it.

“Okay Spaceman, let’s go.”

“Donna?”

“Yes?”

“Why is your latest opened page some fanfiction about a human-alien love story?” He scrolls down on the history page while all color disappears from Donna's face. “And why exactly is ‘How to flirt with aliens’ in your search history?”

Donna yelps and suddenly leaps over to cover the screen with her body and frantically searches for the button to turn off the monitor, finding it four excruciating seconds later.

He sits on the chair, looking at her, trying his best to hold in a laugh.

Her cheeks have flushed such a bright red even her hair pales in comparison.

“Mom’s been using it?” She says. Her ears are heating up. They must be glowing.

“Do you even believe that’s true?”

“Uhh… I, no, okay then, I did it. I…”

“You know, I might be known to not be the best guy when it comes to reading humans, but this might be one of the most obvious cases in my entire 906 year old history…”

“Oh shut up!”

“…And that means there’s exactly two options here of what’s going on…”

“Oh I hate it when you do your options thing!”

“… Number one being, you have an alien kink or… number two, you want to figure out how to flirt with me.”

“ _I do not have an alien kink!_ ” She spits through her teeth while her face turns another shade of deeper red. If that’s even possible.

“Donna, you’re saying that like there’d be anything shameful about having an alien kink.”

“No I… For the name of – _I just don’t have an alien kink, okay_?!”

“Well, I guess that leaves us with option two.” He smirks, leaning lazily back on the chair. “You know, you could’ve just brushed this off by saying that you were hoping to polish your flirting skills with the next alien that we run into on one of our trips.”

“That would’ve been smart, wouldn’t it?”

“Yep.” He bursts out in giggles, and a shy smile spreads on her face as well, but she quickly gets mad at herself for giving into the smile and tries to smack him on the arm, but he's quickly rolls back with the chair to ditch the hit.

“So did you figure out how to flirt with aliens?” He asks, innocently.

“Well, unfortunately, I only got _cute little human satellite based internet_ in this house, so all I could find were some conspiracy blogs about you.”

“Me! Oh dear! Any insights there?”

“Some, yes.”

“Let’s hear it.”

She smiles a little, and steps a shy step closer, poking him on the right side of his chest. “Well, they say a way into a Timelord’s two hearts goes through shared adventures.”

“They are not _entirely_ wrong there.”

“That means I must be off into a good start.”

“Yep.”

A coy grin spreads on her lips. “Let’s get out of this house then, Alienboy.”


End file.
